“This being human is a guest house
Every morning a new arrival.
A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.
Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they are a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out for some new delight.
The dark thought, the sham, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing,
and invite them in.
Be grateful for whoever comes,
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.”
The Shadow of the Sun – Ryszard Kapuscinski
My father first introduced me to the works of Ryszard Kapuscinski through The Emperor, Kapuscinski’s unnerving examination of Emperor Haile Selassie’s rule in Ethiopia told through the eyes of former members of Selassie’s court. With The Shadow of the Sun, Kapuscinski spreads his journalist reach throughout the continent of Africa revealing its mosaic of cultures, histories, tribal worldviews and indomitable geography. Kapuscinski is Poland’s most renowned journalist. First arriving in Africa in 1957, he lived there off and on for 40 years observing countless coups and managing to contract malaria as well as tuberculosis. Unlike most European visitors who kept to the safe, wealthy areas, Kapuscinski wanted to know how everyday people – tradesmen, bus drivers, medical aides – lived. In this book Kapuscinski describes the centuries old conflict between the Hutus and the Tutsis that resulted in the extraordinary genocide the world observed in the 90s. He writes of the fundamental differences in how people of different African tribes view themselves in relation to the rest of the world, and how these differences often lead to tragedy incomprehensible to the Western mind. Also revealing was the history of the former American slaves who founded Liberia in the early 1800s only to enslave the surrounding local population for the next 100 years.
The Art of Living – Epictetus / Lebell
Happiness and freedom begin with a clear understanding of one principle: Some things are within our control, and some things are not. It is only after you have faced up to this fundamental rule and learned to distinguish between what you can and can’t control that inner tranquility and outer effectiveness become possible.
Within our control are our own opinions, aspirations, desires, and the things that repel us. These areas are quite rightly our concern, because they are directly subject to our influence. We always have a choice about the contents and character of our inner lives.
Outside our control, however, are such things as what kind of body we have, whether we’re born into wealth or strike it rich, how we are regarded by others, and our status in society. We must remember that those things are externals and are therefore not our concern. Trying to control or to change what we cannot only results in torment.
How to Differentiate
Years ago I came across this helpful summary of relationship guidelines based on the work of David Schnarch (author of Passionate Marriage).
“Differentiation” has to do with our ability to distinguish between our issues and those of our partners.
It’s so easy to blame others for our own dissatisfaction. We feel a lack in our lives and get upset that others aren’t supplying what is lacking. I’ve noticed especially in relationships this tendency gets magnified.
Here are highlights of steps to take towards creating healthy, well differentiated relationships:
1. Stop blaming your partner. It only makes you sound like a helpless victim. When you close that avenue in your life, many new ones will open. You will start putting your attention on yourself where it will do the most good.
2. Ask yourself about your own happiness. What isn’t working for you? How can you take charge of your life?
3. How are the current relationship issues made worse by you, your attitude, your timing, your way of looking at it, your inability to ask for what you want vulnerably, your defensiveness, your impatience, or your unexamined life?
4. Confront yourself not your partner. This will change your life. Are you living your own integrity? Are you the person you want to be? Are you living up to being the best you?
Astrology.com
I’ve always been curious about astrology. Every year my uncle/godfather prepares my astrological chart and spends an hour going over what Pluto is doing in the 7th house and how Mercury is rising, etc. etc. Given that I don’t know what any of this means, these explanations usually shoot right by me.
A few years ago I began to notice that many of my detail oriented friends happened to be Virgos, and many Virgos I met happened to be neat freaks, so I began to take notice.
Maybe there’s something to astrology after all. In the spirit of exploration, I decided to try out sample reading from Astrology.com and fork over a few bucks for a reading or two. A $12 “Career Path” report yielded the following excerpt:
Be A Thought Leader!
Small companies have to work hard to get visibility, especially when the market is crowded with competitors all vying for the same business. In high tech they face the added dilemma that IT departments don’t want to buy from a small unknown vendor, and the vendor can’t become large and reputable unless it has major customers. So, how does a company become better known with limited resources? By becoming an industry thought leader.
What’s a thought leader?
A thought leader is a recognized leader in one’s field. What differentiates a thought leader from any other knowledgeable company, is the recognition from the outside world that the company deeply understands its business, the needs of its customers, and the broader marketplace in which it operates.
Trust is built on reputation and reputation is generally NOT built on advertising. It is built on what others say about you. Become a thought leader in your field and it won’t matter as much how big you are. Companies will look to you for insight and vision. Journalists will quote you, analysts will call you, websites will link to you.
How does one become a thought leader?
Before one takes the first actionable step, a fundamental shift in mindset is needed. Thought leadership requires a spirit of generosity – generosity of one’s time, intelligence and knowledge. It requires a trust that by being open with what you know, and by sharing your time and knowledge, the world will reward your efforts. With that in mind, here are steps that will help you on your way to being a thought leader: